2:42 p.m. - Wednesday, Jan. 14, 2004
Message Board Madness
Today is off to a better start than yesterday ended. Yesterday I got jumped on at one of the message boards for QAF. LOL. It wasn't funny at the time that I first saw it, but I'm over it now. One never knows what one will find on message boards, the same as in chat rooms. I usually avoid live chats. There's no time to weigh the responses as there is on a message board.
Yesterday, when I first read the very hateful personally directed message to me, I was shocked. My name, "Belle" was in bold print at the top of the post. I vented my frustration by writing all of these ugly things to respond back with. But after writing out each one I deleted it without posting it. I was hurt and I was responding out of that hurt and anger while I waited for reason to gain control of me.
For me, this is the way I believe it should be done: Don't post anything that can cause more problems or open the way for further onslaught. Get it out of my system but don't post until complete control over my feelings has been mastered.
The last thing I want is to get into a war of words on the Internet with some fringe lunatic. The person who wrote the message evidently has some problems. She decided to vent her frustrations over an imagined slight and she held back nothing. I've never met the person before nor wrote anything which I considered to be intentionally mean to her. But she took it as such.
I decided not to say all of the things that stirred within me, but to temper my reply by not trying to explain or defend myself. Sometimes on message boards I find it's better not to say too much to an angry stranger. So I just wrote: "Sorry. No slight nor guilt-trip intended." This was how she had viewed my response to her bragging about having the season tapes of the QAF programs. All I did was to say that I was happy that she had the tapes and to say that I would have to save up for them (they cost over $100 per season).
Anyhow I certainly never expected the response from her that I received and I certainly don't think I deserved it, lol. She said that I was rudely trying to put her on a guilt trip because she has more things than I do (and that's describing it mildly). Ooookaaay...
Like I said, this person has some deep issues. Maybe she's a disgruntled postal worker, hahaha. I try to be very careful when I set someone off like that for reasons unknown. These days and times one never knows what is lurking behind a screen name. I will certainly try to avoid contact with that person ever again regardless, even if she should respond back in a nice way the next time, if that should happen. In my opinion now this person is a smoking gun. I will avoid her like the plague.
It's hard to know sometimes how to take people. There's not much kindness left in the world and certainly to find common courtesy among strangers is rare. The Internet is full of people who are angry for some reason/reasons that only make sense to them and one never knows when that ticking time bomb within a complete stranger will go off. And heaven help the person it goes off on. I guess anonymity on the web removes any constraints that most people would excercise if they were face to face. Or maybe not. I guess, from what I see on tv at times, that there are people who just don't care about how they sound or how they appear to others. People scare the heck out of me.
I also try to be very careful when signing guest books on sites anywhere. Even though I think I may know someone well on the Internet, once they go off on me I kind of tend to back away hurriedly and sometimes stop all communication with them completely. Yes, I'm a coward. I don't like arguments. When one writes in public the public may respond back harshly in a way never expected. And that hurts if your words weren't written with the intention of making anyone angry to begin with.
These are the very reasons that I don't advertise my diary to be read by others. I have visited guest books as well as message boards where people go off on each other. It's scarey and upsetting to other readers as well whenever that happens. To be caught in the middle of a rage on a board or guest book is nearly as bad as being the one directly involved. I am writing in general and not pointing a finger at anyone here so please don't anyone take this personally.
There is so much stress of one kind or another on people today that makes them ready to jump at the least little thing and I understand that, but it doesn't make it any easier to take. So when this happens to me, I quickly run away to cower and hide from the world in my own personal little space; to try to make some sense out of the senselessness. I don't necessarily look for my readers to respond. It's not expected. I am only venting here rather than doing it somewhere that might get me killed.
As for that particular QAF message board, I will wait and see what kind of response my tempered, grovelling words draw. Since I'm new on that board and people don't know me except as a stranger among other strangers, I expect this will all blow over soon and will no longer be remembered except by myself and the postal worker, lol. There are some threads on that message board where this particular person hasn't posted. Or maybe it's just that she is new also and hasn't gotten that far yet. (Whew! Sometimes I crack myself up, hahaha!)
